While still basking in the glow of newfound fatherhood it occurred to me earlier at the hospital that I overheard my wife schedule a doctor’s appointment for our son. Good God! We had just undergone hours of physician oversight with the whole birth ordeal and Jack had been run through a gammit of tests to ensure everything was just so. With the green light given and assurances from everyone including the cafeteria wait staff, I saw no immediate need for traveling to the land of unknown just a mere 48 hours in the future. In fact, just hours before this revelation we had made the inaugural trip home, safely I might add. Although it was a trip laced with trepidation and fear should I also remind you of the careless disregard of my sons safety and posture. Nonetheless, I was acutely curious as to why we had to venture outdoors ever again. The walls of our home provided perfect protection from any and all harsh realities of the real world. It was my opinion that a grocery service, home schooling and periodic Face-time scheduling would surely be an adequate solution for the next 18 years. I stopped and felt my heart race at the thought of venturing outside the house with a newborn. I thought,” how would we manage to pack everything in the car that we would need out there?” It was then that it really hit me. I would be single-handedly engaged in a state of guerrilla warfare, me and my son vs them, the outside world. I calmed myself and settled in on the task at hand, “Operation Doctor Visit.” I was still very green in my new role and was just beginning to get my SAHD legs under me and where lack of practical knowledge resided, passion for success in this new role was bubbling over. I began the checklist and after a box of diapers, 12 bottles of formula, half a case of wipes and at least a dozen blankets and toys I began culling for the necessities. It was then I remembered that the redundancy of multiple diaper bags given as gifts was truly a gift in my current situation. I was grateful that bags rode free on this trip and at that same moment I speculated our child would never travel by air simply because it wasn’t feasible for us to afford an entire section of the aircraft for our family and all its necessities when traveling. I began packing and an hour later I believed I had everything needed for our first outing safely within the confines of our family truckster. I was so excited, I was full of pride and smiling ear to ear as the dry run was a success. In a few short hours the real test would be at hand and with these thoughts I drifted off to sleep eager to see the day and confident that I could meet the challenge. I awoke that next morning and it seemed eerily quiet, nothing stirring including our son. I jumped up and noticed only 1- 1/2 hours till departure. How would I do it? How could I get a newborn, his entire entourage and motorcade 6 miles in less than 2 hours? As it turned out with the help of a rational clear thinking wife we were on time. We took one diaper bag with 2 bottles of formula, 6 diapers, a small package of wipes and a blanket. Mom intervened and quieted the insanity with smart decisions although for any SAHD it seemed like occupational suicide. It worked and I look back on that event as a badge of honor with great pride. I especially laugh out loud at the thought of what I must have looked like as I packed an SUV for what could have been a 5 week trip.
In a nutshell, be prepared for anything. The creed of a parent of a newborn…
July of 2006 in Sacramento was hot, I mean really hot and I distinctively remember pulling away from our home in the “River City” with the temperature somewhere around 105 degrees while looking forward to the cool 70 degrees promised in the Puget Sound. I remember my son Jack in his infant car seat safely fastened while in his air-conditioned paradise which was the back seat of our perfectly packed family truckster. I still remember taking him home from the hospital and the nurse just letting us walk out the door with him, no handbook, no warranty and no questions, except one. Well it really wasn’t a question as much as it was a test, a badge of honor and most importantly my time to shine and rise above all other first time dads before me. It was what I longed for, to be judged on my first official day on the job. To be graded on my ability to implement the first line of defense and safety for our brand new child, yes, the “infant car seat installation test”. I watched as she surveyed and tugged and then turned and looked at me and said, ” it looks ok, take care.” That was it? It looks ok? I had spent hours on this task, not reading the manual mind you but simply doing as all men do and putting the pieces together until it fit and worked. As the nurse vanished I remembered a very dear friend, a seasoned mom with experience and I remember she looked at my installation about a month earlier and told me 7 very important words. “The bubble must be in the middle.” Now let me tell you from the start, the base unit has an indicator bubble much like a carpenters level. A carpenters level? Yes, it’s a tool, a tool I’ve used about a million times but for some reason that day back when I began my foray into car seat installation territory I never put two and two together on the fact that this indicator bubble was the difference between my son riding comfortably or inclined so far forward he looked as if he was riding his first roller coaster. When we reached our destination, my wife exited the back seat of the car having held Jacks head upright the whole drive without a harsh word or comment and I believed at that moment I would either be put on a performance review plan or fired. Neither happened, but I’m pretty sure there was a probation period enacted starting that day that I knew nothing about.
Thank you Meg…..
Foreword;
When we left Washington State I had originally intended on writing a full fledge book that was to chronicle my new life as a “Stay At Home Dad. After the last year or so of constant deliberation filled with massive amounts of guilt as another “Mad Men” or “House of Cards” began streaming, I find myself committed to small doses of my crazy and often funny existence by way of blogging. It seems like less of a commitment, like high school and girls and far more easier to achieve. With this new breath of both spirited and shorter bursts of writing I can now begin describing the adventures that I find so utterly surreal especially when I look back on myself from the beginning to now. The journey is worth writing about and I will make it worth reading about as I describe the life I live that is so different from anything I could have ever imagined for myself. Four states in 8 years with two kids and a overachiever wife who undoubtedly someday will be running a fortune 500 company.
Be apart of my journey, a middle-aged man raising kids in a Moms world.
I wrote this back in July 2013, I think they heard me….Lol
As a 49-year-old white male, I understand why Barrack Obama is our President for a second term. I also understand why the American people in a majority voted for him. This was an awakening, a shot heard all over the globe that business as usual will not be tolerated anymore. This overwhelming mandate by the electorate is the single biggest roadblock that the Conservatives now face and it’s tearing and fracturing their party apart. First, let’s admit that the Republican party is nearly flat lining and to a large sector of this country basically of no importance or relevance at this time. It’s ideals and fundamental principles are still alive in areas but the message they deliver and the way it is packaged and sold to the American public further exasperates the already huge disconnect that they now find their greatest challenge. This nation made up of immigrants has changed so dramatically and why the Republicans haven’t sat up and taken notice is troubling. Example in point, Immigration; immigrants today don’t travel to America with everything they own and start a new life. They don’t come with the intentions to learn our culture and language and celebrate becoming an American. They swoop in with an overnight bag and a round trip ticket with the plans to expedite any and all money back to their family left behind. They have no plans to embrace America but rather just take her wallet and run. This single most important problem is the Achilles heel to our future in both financial stability and the safety and security of our nation.
With our two week “California Adventure” behind us its time to reflect. Time to remember the thoughtful moments when the family unit wasn’t screaming at one another trying to establish individual supremacy. Time to dream back to the sunny days and sleepless nights inside each and every hotel room as we longed for any kind of schedule. Time to appreciate the meaning of ” free breakfast” knowing all along that the lunch would really cost. Time to assess and reconsider the definition of value, especially when children are involved and maybe next time pay for the more expensive, reliable and even friendlier way to fly. Most importantly, during all the time together, it’s important to really focus on the moments of negotiated peace when we were a perfect example of a loving American family who cares about one another, loves one another and would help one another if and only if the electronics weren’t all on low battery, the vending machines weren’t all broke and we weren’t waiting for a 4 hour bargain basement “crop duster like plane” delayed flight home….
Vacations, another word for Chaos….
With our 2 year anniversary just around the corner, living in Tyler, Texas has been both a blessing and a challenge. It has broadened my horizons. In fact, it has opened my eyes, mouth and sometimes even made me look away. Yet I keep coming back for more, almost instinctual. I’m sure I have the highest rate of recidivism to this town ever measured, like a kid to candy, I’m lured by a very intriguing sweetness to Smith County and I’m becoming more and more dependent as time goes by. I know what it is and I’m not sure I want to give it away just yet. But this much is sure, in a small town in the South your identifiable and you mean something whether your at the grocery or the dry cleaners. With that said, picture me with two kids in tow, I’m constantly being profiled. I’m the gorilla in the room, the one who doesn’t quite blend in with the rest but there’s hope and I believe with a few more transplants and a successful PTO Presidency I just might be the one people begin to understand, embrace and truly get to know. Here’s to the indulgence of a piece of Smith County with a scoop of Mom’s respect in the coming year…
It’s never given but always earned…..
In case you ever thought I was giving up this writing gig, guess again. I have more material then Carson, Leno and Letterman ever had at one time. It comes easy, I’m a SAHD in East Texas for Gods sake. I’m a rare bird here in Tyler, I’m kind of a big deal and a lot of folks don’t quite know what to do with me.
In Tyler, Texas;
I’m that women who forgot to put her makeup and something shiny on. I’m the one person who doesn’t see the need for a truck. I’m constantly being stared at when I don’t say y’all. I might be the only adult male in Texas without a tattoo. I think barbeque is something you do not something you eat. I know about wine and it doesn’t come from a box. I understand the value of weekly trash service as opposed to burning it when the pile gets big. I really don’t want to secede from the rest of the nation just because we can. Contrary to Texas popular belief, bigger is NOT always better. My personal favorite, is there something else on rather then college football?
People are constantly commenting, ” Daddy’s day today.” I just smile and say everyday is Daddy’s day wherever I am.
My weekly blog starting today, something short and guaranteed to bring a little Texas your way from a SAHD who’s deep in the middle of it.
Scott
I want to immediately go on record and say that the move to Tyler Texas has been smooth, full of adventure, opportunity and we are integrating as well as can be expected while living in a 600 square foot Residence Inn. With that said, my waistline has another point of view. I mentioned restaurants and their abundance here in Tyler. Have I mentioned then the lack of gyms, workout areas, anything to counteract this constant caloric monkey on my back and in my midsection and on my mind! I know why the restaurant craze is alive and well in Tyler. It’s simple, there’s nothing to make you feel guilty. You walk around with a whole bunch of people sticking to the same strategy with the will power of a million man army. I think it’s something like, eat or you will be eaten. Let’s look at the menu selections that are the mainstays of my new favorite home. Barbecue, burgers, anything fried, ice cream and frozen yogurt. My personal favorite by the way. Oh it keeps going, Deli shops that make sandwiches that would make Dagwood blush and the Tex-Mex restaurant. The last entry is on every street corner and open late for your convenience and they believe the dietary pyramid starts with a 5 lb basket of chips. Followed by a serving size for a family of four with lard and Margaritas. Not bad if you haven’t seen or had a decent meal in a month but remember you live in Tyler and just ate this same meal today at lunch! I am setting a personal goal and it has nothing to do with consumption but rather the ability to stave off the unhealthy under belly of this new place I call home. From now on its veggie trays, sushi and portions that my daughter would even consider small. Starting this Friday, I will become the workout rat I know I can be. The gym rat that is hiding beneath the slightly larger midsection that I now need to focus on. In fact a personal pledge to everyone that I will now lead the charge of healthy eating, healthy portions right after visiting every recommended barbecue and greasy hole in the wall this week!
Eat, Drink and workout Tyler!
Texas days so far, 23 and counting
Living in Bellevue, Washington was a wonderful experience. I have so many fond memories and so many incredible friends who will always be a part of the Beery’s lives. In Bellevue, I learned a thing or two about bling. After all, Bellevue is a very cosmopolitan, wealthy high-tech little gem and most of those little gems were around the neck or wrist of the well-kept Bellevue woman. Seriously, Bellevue women know how to do bling with class and sophistication and I’m sure in Texas that exists somewhere? So far however it evades Texas like cool temperatures, pretty much non-existent. Texas women take it up a notch, with in your face, I have arrived , blinded by the rhinestones sort of bling . It’s not all about the quality of the bling but rather the quantity. Remember the last blog? Let’s use the Office Space analogy, shall we? Bellevue women are best described as Jennifer Anniston or Joanna. They meet a sort of sophisticated criteria and often less is more. On the other side, Texas women are best described as Brian the Chotchkie’s waiter who’s flair was always used as the pinnacle of employer loyalty. If there’s any more room for something shiny, then by god find something quick because I feel half-dressed without it. Honestly, while driving last week I saw a women walking in the parking lot wearing super short cut offs, pink cowboy boots, about 2 rings for every finger a cowboy hat and something shiny wrapped around her waist that still to this day I’m not sure what it was. Now I don’t want to stereotype wildly without merit or cause, but the trend seems to be accurate with evidence delivered every day here in East Texas. I’m constantly introduced to new and unique ways to demonstrate the art of bling With fall football on the horizon and that being for most a second religion here, I can only imagine what team loyalty represents in clothing and bling or rather lack of clothing, heavy on the bling!
Rhinestones, the perfect small shiny, that just says Cheap!
Texas Days complete, twenty-one and counting.
Yesterday was one of those days, restless kids, oppressive heat and lack of knowledge of anywhere fun to hang out. So like any responsible parent I looked for the first fast food location with an inside play area. Hello Chick-fil-a a welcome departure from Mickey D’s and in my mind better than hamburgers any day, right? Well we rolled into the “palace of poultry” at around 3pm and it was a ghost town and I started to second guess my choice of East Texas eateries. Now let me be clear Tyler has some very good places to eat and there are many to choose from in fact, I would say more choices than are previous home. But the fact is most of those don’t have a play area or as I like to call it, a snot, slime and saliva covered den of germ warfare. So as Jack began to initiate his immune system Lauren and I sat down in an empty Chick-fil-a on S. Broadway in Tyler Texas. Then as the time went by an amazing thing happened, people started coming to this restaurant in droves. I mean like cattle to a salt lick they just kept coming even the drive through was packed. Families, young college kids and singles alike all hankering for chicken. I don’t think I saw one healthy thing on that entire menu but this is East Texas and I think the mantra is quantity not quality. I began to feed Lauren her bottle while I watched Jack inside the play area momentarily. It’s so weird for me to think that less than 30 days ago I sat in a Starbucks contemplating our future and now I’m sitting in Chick-fil-a doing the very same thing. After some time went by I was able to extract my children and I’m sorry Chick-fil-a, no purchases today but when we need deep-fried chicken fixed a million different ways, You the Man!
Quest for Museums and responsible play areas commencing!
beeryadventures 